literary masochism: an unintentional dissertation on lizard people

I was introduced to actress/supermodel/writer Emily Ratajkowski when the photo of her holding her baby like a pile of dirty rags she used to clean up dog piss with went viral. I have no reason to keep up with celebrities; as a 27-year-old restaurant manager who never abandoned her adolescent emo phase, their lives haven’t…

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literary masochism: why you don’t buy things that went viral on Tumblr in 2011

I recall stumbling upon a photo of the opening page of Diary Of An Oxygen Thief on Tumblr or Facebook sometime during high school. I skimmed through hundreds of comments about the author’s confessional, sociopathic, self-aggrandizing rant describing how treating women like shit was his favorite hobby, all saying variations of: “Wow… This is terrifying…

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jealousy is a disease and i don’t have health insurance

I am very mad about the writer who got famous from a Harry Styles fanfiction where she portrayed him as an incorrigible abuser who deserved to be made into a eunuch, not cherished or even lusted after. Here is the brief description of the upcoming MOVIE based off this fanfiction, because not only did its…

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give my love to buffalo

Every Time I Die’s new album Radical was finally released on October 22nd after a year-long delay, and at least five different people of whom my (fleeting) presence left with a vile taste in their mouth — something like if you drank only cheap rum for 12 hours and then licked the dirty and crusty…

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live (a week late) from the current affairs desk

Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian got engaged last week, and I say (with the same indifference I treat every rich and beautiful public figure because the world is shit and their glamorous lives have zero pertinence to mine): Good for them. From what little I have somehow managed to refrain from learning about the Kardashian…

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TATMWCMD B-SIDES: out do ’em

This man was thirty years old and waiting tables for a living until his career as a DJ “took off,” which I assume meant being booked for maybe two weddings in Holiday Inn banquet rooms a month.  (He sold drugs, too, of course… I thought he was hot, of course.)  We worked together and he…

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