I have not purchased a copy of Alternative Press magazine since early high-school. By that time, I had already adopted the “I listen to Glassjaw, and thus, I am above you and allowed to insult your dilettante taste in music on this here Internet forum freely” aesthetic. The appearances of any metalcore band I deemed…
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Girls, usually those younger than me (so around how old I was when most of the debauchery chronicled in TATMWCMD took place), just love to tell me their whorror stories. I don’t mind it: I branded myself and showed it off to everyone like a new tattoo, and it’s probably best that they do not…
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Shackled in literary magazine purgatory, I’ve exchanged my exhaustive search for mediums to send my work to for writing an essay a day, mostly about nothing, for I don’t do anything. Yesterday, I ate pizza for dinner (pepperoni, because a knack for self-harm doesn’t go away overnight). I learned that my mother has been cutting…
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I spent my 20th birthday obliterated on mushrooms. Around half an hour before I threw up and refused to leave the bathroom for five hours until my friend finally said, “Rose, I am sorry you are having a bad trip, but…. You can’t keep chain smoking in my bathroom…. It’s against my lease…. One was…
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My sister, shrewd in her devious ways, left me the repulsive Golden Monkeys remaining from her variety pack because she knew there is nothing I will not drink. I managed to avoid their primatial taunts of “ooh ahh wah ooh gulp us down you worthless smelly heathen ooh ahh wahh ooh,” cracking only one open…
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The two best parts about getting your period revolve around the guaranteed respite from men. The first is obvious: you are not carrying a child and thus, run no risk of potentially being forced to tolerate the man you’ve had a couple weeks of fun with for approximately the next 18 years (but maybe less…
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